Indonesian People
(an etnographic novel)
Emil Reza Maulana
Dedicated for Gadis Siput
Contents
1.
The
2.
After Word
3.
Is Going On
1. The
I’m always thinking about that.
Although I still shame to writing this letter, and still learning English
at a course, I try to be brave. That’s because Ibuku, my firstly English
teacher. I though I have to tell you some history of my life. And this is the
key of my life. I will tell you everything that happen and happened to me, and
anything that I have ever know and knew, also all the things that I founded.
And one of them is you, Gadis Siput. Yes, you are.
@
In a night, when I was be a patient of Yos Sudarso Hospital, I choose to
walking around on the corridor. Someone just make me broken heart on this
afternoon. A girl that I called Nona Teh, a girl that I find at the first time
at one of hotel in this city, Padang at 2016, that is a few weeks ago. She
didn’t come to look and check my condition, and she didn’t answer my last
messege yet. And I’m sure that she would never to send me that.
@
I’m walking on the corridor. I look into the sky, the black sky of night.
And I feel someone on looking to my on the back. My hind-head is bristle. For
sure? Yeah! Then I go to look back at him. Him? No, no. And yes. A girl on
looking into me. What the heck? Why you looking me, Girl? And I go to her. But.
When I look into her face for real, I find my self as a drunken. I drunk b’coz
herself. She’s smile is so nice. So warm. So pure. So faithful. Make me feel
that I’m so lucky in this day.
Yes. You’re the girl.
You. Takuyung.
But, to get your heart and your feelings for me, for real, maybe is too
difficult.
2. After Word
At the last night.
I’m not get anytime for sleep last night, and this morning I still feel
energic, so burning, gutsy. I wait for my infused water that will take with
some nurse, they said that they will take these in this morning. And I’m only
need to waiting, before I go to try again. Seek her condition for once more
time.
“Apa nama Instagram-mu?” I ask for her name in Instagram application.
“@takuyuung.”
“Apa? Pokoyong? Nama Korea?” What? Pokoyong? Korean names?
“@takuyuung!!” she said, once again.
“Ohh.. Takuyung..” Then I ask her, what is the meaning of
‘Takuyung’.
For before, she give me smile, the sweetest smile ever. And finally she
say after that, “Siput.”
Snail.
That Indonesian for ‘snail’.
And then, I know you from one of my oldest friend. A girl named Nada
Chaniago, someone from Kuntum Mekar Kindergarden until when I go to non-government
Middle School classes at Xaverius. She’s childish and very gentleman, and
little bit boyishly although she won’t cut her long hair. Maybe. But still do
atitude and look like very boyishly. But she so friendly, and make anyone happy
for easily at everyday. Very responsive and responsible person. Nice girl. Kind
girl.. Until the end of first year, then I’m not saw her anymore. Because I
change to another school at the capitol of this province. West Sumatra, 2011.
I start my serious writing project when L, the beautiful and nicest
teacher in Bahasa Indonesia studies say, “Wow! Tulisanmu bagus!!” Wow! Your
letter is so great!!
“Ha?” I don’t believe anything that she said.
“Benar! Apa saya terlihat seperti pembohong?” Sure! Am I look like a liar?
“Maksud saya..-” I mean..-
“Tulisanmu bagus! Dan itu sudah cukup. Kelas selesai. Kamu boleh pulang.”
Your letter is great! And that’s enough. Class is over. You can go home.
“Terimakasih..” Thankyou..
“Kapan saja.” Anytime.
So I go home with my spectacular feelings. I’m so happy because she told
me like that. And when I come to my home, I go to bedroom and take one paper
from my notebook, and write anything what I want to read. I want read
something. Like my childhood memories.
Long very very long time ago. When I still child, really really childish,
I’d like to prefer to be reading, more than go around at outside of my home
like another childs. I’d prefer too by drawing something and not worries about
that’s will be bad drawings or that would be a good picture. I draw and draws.
Then my mom come to see me, she just doing something, maybe in the kitchen or
our little garden at backyard. She always said, “Bagus.”
Great. She always say that.
3. Is Going On
IF I SAY all of things that’s very potential will be
sure, and surely. Real. Surely be happen to me in this middle night. Yes. That
is happened. Happening when I found myself cannot sleep, again, because I’m
thinking of my last day. Gadis Siput again, is she? Surely is she the
troublemaker of all computers in my head? Yes? That’s happened? When you’re
find you cannot sleep any bit this night? Why. Why you still thinking of her
even if in the same time. While. Now. She’s maybe didn’t still staying up for
this minutes. And if she yes, admittedly still awake for this time, but The
Atmosphere says “Nope. Not thinking of you. Indeed.” So?
So.
What will you do now.
?
IF YOU SAY that you’re a
responsive person, you are adult person for should. If you’re adult person, you
have to be, make, have and had responsibility to your life. Should, really?
Should? Really? Yes. Should. Really. Should and really, absoutly of course. So,
you don’t have to push yourself this night. You don’t go awake and it is better
to take a sleep. Not only because you don’t sleep at the other chapters. At
previous chapters. Any. Many. Much times you don’t any give yourself to get a
rest. Okay? Go to sleep. Now.
Look at your eyes.
They are blackned.
THIS MORNING YOU AREN’T GO AWAKE. Because
you’re not sleep last night. Because you aren’t sleep already yet enough. You
still thinking of her. You’re curious like a lamb curry from Indian America or
maybe Hindi for indeed, that lamb curry is so spicy b’coz there are many
flowers trough over them. But you’re didn’t need lamb curry for now, you’re
need any newest news from Gadis Siput. But your eyes is only just four watts
now. You know for what your eyes is created by God, and every people in this
country is knewing too. Including this planet of the earth.
So you’re sleepy. Very very totally. And you’re falling to your sleep.
Okay. It’s over.
Don’t thinking anymore of your problem. All the human beings it has their problem
to. The problems. A few problem or maybe a biggest problems. But they still can
go to their bed and sleep. And slept. God know what you need now. It’s called
‘dreaming’. Go to
dream.
And you could find her up there.
INDONESIAN PEOPLE
in almost of them says, that Japanese or Westerns is still able and still
trying to make a new colonialism by some of the ways. Including of industries
action of actor like Maria Ozawa or Sasha Grey in the context of pornographic
content, campaign of anti-cigarrete and coconut oil—although this is story from
long time ago--the best of scholarship ever like Jardine as Maudy Ayunda the
one of beautiful actress that so lucky to had some numbers of local movies,
scholarship to Adelaide like the first stand up comedian native superstar
Raditya Dika, and some labels from Japan and America, or maybe they sometime
use an idiom, “Handphone cina, nih!” for say that is bogus cellphone that made
in China. And maybe that’s one reason of some native doesn’t like Chinese people
as they called in another name as Orang Tionghoa.
One word for this situation and feelings: envy so envy.
Yes. Indonesian people is so really really very envy to others, including
American and other people in foreign countries, although that is so far far
away. And they will say, “Internet?” for their great wrinkle.
And Indonesian people is very loves in gossip, although they’re not aware
if that they talk is gossip for real. They do gossip everyday. In the bus, a
taxi, in taxi-motorcycle called Gojek or Grab.. . They go to a coffee shop and
yes that space is very very similiar like a Starbucks or Dante Coffee Shop,
they go to there just for make a newest gossip, and do a pillow talk and hasn’t
different with story about their friend’s son and another friend’s daughter.
They make a couple company by informal concept and fun with these although they
not get any money.
An author called Pelesetupat is has ever too got a serious problem in his
life. A serious problem like this. Indonesian girl calls it “Perjodohan.” And
the boys said, “Percomblangan.” Although the meaning is exactly same. That’s
general project with an abysmal effect of couple company. That’s when
Pelesetupat go to talk with Master of Indonesian Litterature, who is his mom’s
close friend named Lis. Pelesetupat said, that he interested with Aunty Lis’s
daughter. Named Cinta. And Aunty Lis says that he must to prepare. What kind of
prepare? He ask. And she said, Well, you can prepare what you want to prepare.
But, I change my needs when I meet with someone that’s over than just
‘meet’. Over than ‘just meet’ with Cinta. Over than anything that could be more
than a lot of important very important things. She’s someone around here, and
she makes me finally for finish my trash of the past. Waste. Raff. Dregs. The
only things that waste my time just for them whose did not care anything of me.
The story of A Girl with The Morning Dew.
Why the title should be like that? “A Girl-with-The Morning Dew.”
Why must
be like that? Okay, okay. I will describe to you, why should be this choice
which I have taken.
Easily.
But firstly, let me introduce the last part, the reason why I take a
capital letter for ‘T’ in “The Morning Dew”. Okay?
Yes?
Okay.
That is for the pressure to purpose of this poem;
you.
Me. And love strongest stories.
so
far
The
distance of us
The title poem is “The Distance is Dancing on the Mat”, it’s about the
journey and bla bla bla bla—you might be prefer to construing this meanings—and
that’s journey will bla bla bla bla. And, ‘A’ for “A Girl” is for describe my
personal relation between me and that’s girl. With whom I get some feel like
long distance relationship for indeed, for very very long distance in this
atmosphere feelings.
Okay?
Okay. I will tell you for more.
IN A SUNDAY MORNING I woke awake from a weird
dreams to I wouldn’t that come true.
That’s disgusting dreaming. But I’m not remember it anymore.. Well, yup! I
still remember, but just a little bit a part. And apart of that, maybe I’m not
hate that for real. For really really of hatred. Although it doesn’t mean I
love these dreaming. And, yeah, I woke awake from my bed and go to the toilet
and washing my face, and take a wudhu and go to Subuh. This is still a half of
six morning, then I still can do praying.
Aftar that’s Subuh pray, I go to kitchen and boil a water and make a cup
of tea. Then I go to guestroom, sit on sofa and drink the tea. I thought I have
to check my Facebook, so I go to find my cellphone in my bedroom.
After got it, I check my cellphone.
What the..??!
This Monday.
I’ve go to school.
CURRENTLY ON THE CAR. The car of public transportation.
At 7 until 9 o’clock I’m on the way to school. But. I cannot get any leeway
from that’s institution. Even if that’s so boring when I just sin on the way
until finish. Then I have to get back like these when the school times is over.
But.
Someone, a girl whose pretty so nicest face, look up to my head.
ST12 BAND’S SONG ON MY HEADPHONE.
I hear everytime. After I met the girl that I named Puella Roris, the Latin of
“the girl from the mist of sea”. I talk with her without know her name. I
forgot to ask that, I’m so enjoying our conversation.
Conversations. I don’t
remember if I talk about Converse stylish creamy jacket which so mild and look
so soft. I just remember that I flirt or, maybe, a half of flirt to her. But.
Maybe I’m not flirt. Even I’m not a man like that’s type. No. That’s not my
character. Okay. Okay! I look into her eyes and just gave my smile in that’s my
sweetest moment in my lifetime. My own lifetimes.
@
Aku
yang terlelap sendiri
Terlelap
sampai tak sadar diri
Kulihat
sang pujaan hati
Datang
melangkah, terus menghampiri
=
I’m
the one who sleep alone
Sleep
until didn’t know anything
I
saw my admire
She
walk to me, and meet
@
So, yes. After I met her, I remember of that’s music on the public
transportation. ST12 Band. The title is “Putri Iklan”. The Princess of Reclame.
“Pagi.” Morning.
“Pagi..” said Puella Roris.
“Kamu pelajar di SMA Don Bosco, ya?” You’re student at Don Bosco High
School, right?
The Indonesian ‘High School’ is ‘SMA’, Sekolah Menengah Atas. This is the
difference of Western People with Indonesian People. Our perspective of studies
is, if someone go until High School, he just only High School student. But if
he goes to some university, that will be University. University Student, with
capital letters. To give totally pressure. Otority. Authority. Neo-Colonialism.
Yup! They have didn’t know anything about this colonialism that they have
ever talked. All of Indonesian People thought, they are in colonized by Western
or Japanese. But they didn’t know anything for real, of the reality totally in
fact. That’s actually.
They’re bakka[1].
“YES. I’M STUDENT FROM DON BOSCO..”
she said. Then we talk about that and this, that and this. We talk about
everything, and laugh at every time. She’s so beautiful and totally my type. I
haven’t ever meet anyone like her. She is different. Totally my type, totally different.
Divergent. Girl. Sweet.. . I cannot hold her, but also cannot leave her. I want
we talking forever.
“You’re university student?” she ask.
“No.” I said. She must be look at my appearance. My half-long hair, my
casual outfits.. . My old face? Maybe not. I hope not. I won’t be just friend
of her. I want to be her boyfriend. Oh my God, why I’m so possesif like this?
Is this love that they, the people, said?
Puella Roris might be doesn’t sure of my answer. She’s still thinking of
my school. Or my job. Until I give she an answer from the mainstream opinion,
or the believe is dead for me. In the after, she won’t talk anymore.
I want to be her boyfriend, but I’m still thinking this is a girly magic
or something like that.
Maybe she’s witch.
“YES. I’M STUDENT FROM DON BOSCO. SO WHAT?” if she say like that, and of
course she can. She able to say like that. To me. With eyes and feelings like a
coldest era, from long ago, so far times away. “So what? You like me? Sorry, I
can’t and I wont with you.”
“But..” before I’m finish my say, she push herself, “Sorry. I cannot..
Please, don’t push me. I don’t like you.”
This is chest, my chest, like after smack by Superman or Batman, or
whatever. She is totally strong and enough to make my death. But I’m still like
her, whatever she is. My feel so pure, faith, and warm. Still burn my heart to
unfinishing my feeling forever.
But, in the fact, I didn’t have talk anything with her.
I don’t know her name, don’t know her school. It’s just my stupid
imagination.
@
“Boleh pinjam charger hape?” She ask to lend my cellphone charger.
“Boleh. Tapi ada syaratnya.”
“What?” she said with her lazy eyes.
“Jadilah pacarku.” Be my girlfriend.
“What? Harus, ya?”
“Kita kan terpilih.”
“Ha?”
“Iya, aku milih kamu buat jadi pacar..”
“Terus?” And then?
“Kamu milih aku buat pinjam charger!”
@
I like when the sky is cloudy. And I make a band, like all people young
anyone else. I make: Clouders—and am the keyboardist on this part.
I read so many books for make all new songs. Like this;
Instchu
Tschuna mati dalam nafas besar
Nafas
yang dihembuskan pada langit dan bumi
Bulu
yang digenggamnya adalah tanda
Bagi
yang buruk rupa dan roh jahat
Siaplah
yang menggenggam bulu itu
Untuk
pulang pagi dan datang malam
@
But. It’s never done.
THE AFTER WORD IS GOING ON. I
be one of nomination of literatute competition from Dewan Kesenian Jakarta. I
wrote so much, said My Dad. I stay on his home when I try to finish my script.
You awake until 3 morning, said him again. When I still try to write.
Then.
I go to Jakarta with some flight, and meet anyone? Maybe.
Maybe I will meet Linda Christanty, my mom’s favorite writer. And Seno
Gumira Ajidarma, my master. Everyone master if they write about twillight. Sepotong Senja untuk Pacarku is the best
writtings of himself.
Then.
I ask to Linda Christanty to take a photo with me by my phone, and send to
my mom.
Done.
I’m only just to wait for whom the 1st finding.
Done.
@
“Cemburu?” Envy? I said, in the line. She in West Sumatra now.
“Ciee.. Ada rasa cemburu juga akhirnya..” Ciee.. There’re feeling envy too
for finally.. I said, once again.
No! she said, but. And I know she’s pretending like other girls that in
situation feelings like these. I’m not envy. She said, Why I can be envy with
absurdly just because a man that totally absurd? That’s first time she so rude,
crude and harsh when she talk to me. Answer my question. Answer my question for
exactly, Gadis Siput! Said me in my reason, in the depth of chimera.. . But
that’s just only a ‘chimera’, how I could be seriously with my only one mind?
But. That’s just only long time ago.
Me and Deka isn’t on relationship anymore. She go, I go. And everything in
the past is just only the past. But I have to thankful for the memories, Deka
the Gadis Siput. Even if I don’t know anything about her feelings up me on this
time right now.
Now, I’m still
waiting for the plane in International Airport of Minangkabau at Padang. With
my dad whose so antusiastic for this literature ceremony. Dewan Kesenian
Jakarta final competition.
I wont invite my mom,
because she never invite me to go to abroad.
“You have to go
alone.” Said my mom.
“Okay..”
And when she go abroad
to Brisbane, just only one Indonesian up there, that I start to not respect her
anymore. Because she always say for together forever to me. And I’m not respect
her anymore. So I invite my dad to go with my to that ceremony of Dewan
Kesenian Jakarta.
So, I just tell to my
mom that’s my own reason.
And she say, “Al
right. We have same idea.”
Although I knew
“that” for sure.
@
That’s raining
outside.
I go to Bukittinggi
on the evening, before I go to International Minangkabau Airport with my
father. I bought some clothes and pants in a textile shop. A sweater with a
hoody, and something like that. Just for that’s ceremony? Yups, that’s right
for totally.
@
It’s been a couple of
months, since I go with my father and meet many famoust person in Taman Ismail
Marzuki. And I’m lose as literature competition, no more, I just only get a
nominate.
“Kau tidak kalah,” my
father said, You’re not lose.
Yes, and of course I
quit from literature. I said.
We spent this area
for eight years. It started from A Girl with The Morning Dew. And I won’t get a
lost anymore. So I bought some cigarettes, Marlboro Black, and John Allyn’s
book, 47 Ronin. An orientalism
writtings.
I meet Sabda Armandio
too when I arrived in Taman Ismail Marzuki. And I meet my friends too, from
Komunitas Seni Nan Tumpah, a community of performance arts. Atma and Karta. The
man who’s professional with their basic.
SO I AND MY DAD GO BACK TO WEST SUMATRA,
after lunch at warung tegal, I eat buffalo skin with rice. My dad tell me that
I’m not lose, for a couple of times. In the air plane, I ask a waiter for give
me their magazine. I drink a cup of coffee in the morning, one day before go
back for sure.
A cup of coffee. It’s
reminds me with Kak Guru, my sufism master on Dawoodya. She writes a lot of
article in her Facebook. It might be I falling in love with her. But I still
adoubting with my shadow relationship with Deka, the Gadis Siput
The Snail Girl.
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